Can I be honest? I used to cut, my only escape from my head. I stopped because it was also hurting the ones I loved but the need is always there. More apparent sometimes than others. now is one of those times. I want to hurt... I want to bleed... Is that so wrong? How does my wound hurt someone else and how long can I hold it back. I want to self-destruct but I can't! I have a family, a beautiful daughter that depends on me. I want to be strong for her. Almost 18 months ago I wanted for the first time to be someone to look up to. For her I can do this. I'm no martyr though, this decision to have another child is purely selfish. Basically I want to do it because I think I can't. I tell myself "I'll show you!"
I'm doing the right thing, I am, really.
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